I dreamt about my appetite again last night, it was another whet dream.
My Last Will and Testament states that if I’m ever unable to jerk off, pull the plug. If there isn’t a plug, chop my head off.
I accidentally got my testicles caught in my zipper today. That’s the last time I wear boots with zippers!
I never peel my string cheese, I just stick it right up my butt as is.
Do you need help putting on your cape?
No, I’m perfectly capable myself.
I used to have one pet, now I have lots of pets. My dog has worms.
My parents never washed my mouth out with soap for swearing, but I once flicked them off, and they made me wash my hands. It was fucking disgusting.
I once blew a fuse, I have a fireworks fetish.