My roommate just adopted a dog from the pound, and the dog has the same name as my girlfriend, so as you can imagine when she comes over there is some confusion, because now there’s two fat bitches named Precious there on all fours.
I once hooked up with two girls at the same time, but one of them was a little person, so I think technically it was a 2.5 some.
I lost my virginity on the night of senior prom, in the drunk tank showers after my DUI. It was just like I always imagined.
I love how certain songs can take you back to a very specific place and time in your life. Like every time I hear the song Love Shack by the B52’s I’m immediately transported back to that time I had sex with my neighbor in his tool shed. And every time I hear the song YMCA by the Village People, it reminds me of the YWCA in our village where I had sex with my neighbor in the shower. The power of music!